They have read Isa Danton's stories
On Blind Date
Oh Isa, that was a really good story. The way you wove the various scenes together was quite good. You had me laughing several times.
I know there were one or two little places I was going to comment on regarding some minor things, but they must have been so minor I can't recall them. Ha!
I really liked the ending too. Good job!
Judy (R.I.P)
On Saving on a Low paycheck Made Possible
It looks great Isa! I couldn't find a single spelling error. I'll post to you at the Cuppa with some possible places to submit it. It's full of good ideas, a lot of which I've learned the hard way. I wonder if a women's magazine might also be a good spot for it? I'm sure you can find a place for it!
Happy Writing,
-M
On There Were Feathers Everyhwere
This is delightful! The story starts playfully, a playful romp by the turkey having fun with the hapless farmer. His jocularity turns to fear as two now stalk him and he laments his impending death, then chokes on a gobble as he faints! I really thought he was done for! Vivid and realistic portrayal{e;thumbsup}
The conversation between the two farmers that follows is natural and again, portrayed with detail, I can visualize their surprise. I would suggest putting it in italics, perhaps, to separate it from the point of view of the turkey? Also the reference to the 'older' farmer made me look back to the first paragraph for a reference, so maybe introducing the big hairy guy as his 'younger brother' in the opening paragraph would alleviate this jump?
The ending leaves no loose ends and again is told vividly from the turkey's point of view. Along with the group at the farm, I am left satisfied and smiling^_^
Thank you for offering this delightful story!
Keep Writing!
Kate
On Men Can
I loved it. You put men into words so harshly truthfully that I found this essay a joy to read. It truly brought a bigger smile to my face with every line I read. The truth put into words that not even a man could deny because every word of it is truth. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!
Kat Michelle
On It Does not Matter Anymore
Really awesome story! I don't know how anyone else in the group can top it...I'm always so humbled by your talent.
-Your word count is GREAT...exactly what you assigned us and I don't know if I can tell such a wonderful story in so few words. When this particular assignment is over, though, we are to expand on the story, correct? Because yours has plenty of expansion room...I'd love to be in on more of this; of course I'm sure you're aware but I write it in many reviews, so why not yours I like SHOW over TELL. When you can revise, maybe you could go back to the wreck (you're most likely planning to). Perhaps you could intersperse scenes of the funeral with scenes of the wreck. Instead of TELLING us that John was drunk and he died alone, we could SEE it in the flashbacks as the funeral is happening. You could, perhaps, put scenes from the past in italics so we could easily tell the difference.
Simply some thoughts. WONDERFUL story, Isa...as usual
Susan L
On Talk to Me
Wow. The "dummy" seems to be a metaphor for who we women can sometimes become with an overly possessive man. Either that, or it is what it is, and it shows how stupid men can look when ogling over women or being so preoccupied with his "possession" that he forgets we are people, too. Very well put together. I fear, though, that this, like so many other slightly feminist writings, will be looked at and inspire only others who share this viewpoint, be they women or men. Nevertheless, I encourage you to keep it up, and I implore everyone who enters this site, by accident or otherwise, to definitely read this piece.
Delana Romaine
On Men Can
Wow, well I'm not sure if you drew this from personal experience, but I can understand your pain if you have.
Having unfaithful parents (now divorced), I can see how much faithfulness is important, and how easy it is for a man to go astray. This has probably, even if only subconsciously, caused me to think that about 99% of men would cheat if they knew they wouldn't be caught. It just seems like many of them don't understand that it's not necessarily the act of it- it's the thoughts and rejection that go with it.
ANYways, I'm sure there are quite a few men who will find offense to this, as there are some sweeping statements made, but so be it. If this is autobiographical, perhaps you could allude to your personal experience more?
Josie
On Men Can
I wanted to tell you that I liked what you wrote. Even though I don't agree with everything that you wrote, I like that you have written something that shows how you see men. I think you did a nice job by not putting them down, but rather showing them in the line of sight that you see them in. Yes they are much different than women and I think you showed that terrifically. Thanks so much!
Tally
On Crackled
Oh Isa, I love this story you have written. It kept me reading in part because I didn't figure out who the "old woman" was until near the end. Really awesome!!
Judy B
On Men Can
I think that you really captured the male form and mind in this piece. As I was reading I was thinking about people that I know and things that I have overheard people say. I think that it was a wonderful way to interpret men. I know that there have been times when I have wondered just how I would write about how a man really is, and I think that you took every last idea and word right out of my mouth and head, but put them to words with much more style than I would have! Excellent!
Anonymous
Oh Isa, that was a really good story. The way you wove the various scenes together was quite good. You had me laughing several times.
I know there were one or two little places I was going to comment on regarding some minor things, but they must have been so minor I can't recall them. Ha!
I really liked the ending too. Good job!
Judy (R.I.P)
On Saving on a Low paycheck Made Possible
It looks great Isa! I couldn't find a single spelling error. I'll post to you at the Cuppa with some possible places to submit it. It's full of good ideas, a lot of which I've learned the hard way. I wonder if a women's magazine might also be a good spot for it? I'm sure you can find a place for it!
Happy Writing,
-M
On There Were Feathers Everyhwere
This is delightful! The story starts playfully, a playful romp by the turkey having fun with the hapless farmer. His jocularity turns to fear as two now stalk him and he laments his impending death, then chokes on a gobble as he faints! I really thought he was done for! Vivid and realistic portrayal{e;thumbsup}
The conversation between the two farmers that follows is natural and again, portrayed with detail, I can visualize their surprise. I would suggest putting it in italics, perhaps, to separate it from the point of view of the turkey? Also the reference to the 'older' farmer made me look back to the first paragraph for a reference, so maybe introducing the big hairy guy as his 'younger brother' in the opening paragraph would alleviate this jump?
The ending leaves no loose ends and again is told vividly from the turkey's point of view. Along with the group at the farm, I am left satisfied and smiling^_^
Thank you for offering this delightful story!
Keep Writing!
Kate
On Men Can
I loved it. You put men into words so harshly truthfully that I found this essay a joy to read. It truly brought a bigger smile to my face with every line I read. The truth put into words that not even a man could deny because every word of it is truth. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!
Kat Michelle
On It Does not Matter Anymore
Really awesome story! I don't know how anyone else in the group can top it...I'm always so humbled by your talent.
-Your word count is GREAT...exactly what you assigned us and I don't know if I can tell such a wonderful story in so few words. When this particular assignment is over, though, we are to expand on the story, correct? Because yours has plenty of expansion room...I'd love to be in on more of this; of course I'm sure you're aware but I write it in many reviews, so why not yours I like SHOW over TELL. When you can revise, maybe you could go back to the wreck (you're most likely planning to). Perhaps you could intersperse scenes of the funeral with scenes of the wreck. Instead of TELLING us that John was drunk and he died alone, we could SEE it in the flashbacks as the funeral is happening. You could, perhaps, put scenes from the past in italics so we could easily tell the difference.
Simply some thoughts. WONDERFUL story, Isa...as usual
Susan L
On Talk to Me
Wow. The "dummy" seems to be a metaphor for who we women can sometimes become with an overly possessive man. Either that, or it is what it is, and it shows how stupid men can look when ogling over women or being so preoccupied with his "possession" that he forgets we are people, too. Very well put together. I fear, though, that this, like so many other slightly feminist writings, will be looked at and inspire only others who share this viewpoint, be they women or men. Nevertheless, I encourage you to keep it up, and I implore everyone who enters this site, by accident or otherwise, to definitely read this piece.
Delana Romaine
On Men Can
Wow, well I'm not sure if you drew this from personal experience, but I can understand your pain if you have.
Having unfaithful parents (now divorced), I can see how much faithfulness is important, and how easy it is for a man to go astray. This has probably, even if only subconsciously, caused me to think that about 99% of men would cheat if they knew they wouldn't be caught. It just seems like many of them don't understand that it's not necessarily the act of it- it's the thoughts and rejection that go with it.
ANYways, I'm sure there are quite a few men who will find offense to this, as there are some sweeping statements made, but so be it. If this is autobiographical, perhaps you could allude to your personal experience more?
Josie
On Men Can
I wanted to tell you that I liked what you wrote. Even though I don't agree with everything that you wrote, I like that you have written something that shows how you see men. I think you did a nice job by not putting them down, but rather showing them in the line of sight that you see them in. Yes they are much different than women and I think you showed that terrifically. Thanks so much!
Tally
On Crackled
Oh Isa, I love this story you have written. It kept me reading in part because I didn't figure out who the "old woman" was until near the end. Really awesome!!
Judy B
On Men Can
I think that you really captured the male form and mind in this piece. As I was reading I was thinking about people that I know and things that I have overheard people say. I think that it was a wonderful way to interpret men. I know that there have been times when I have wondered just how I would write about how a man really is, and I think that you took every last idea and word right out of my mouth and head, but put them to words with much more style than I would have! Excellent!
Anonymous